Stressing about everything

A lot has happened since last we spoke….. Or since last I spoke I suppose…. My car broke down on the way to my camping trip, so I was all anxious for nothing because I wasn’t even able to go. My car is now parked in front of my apartment. Engine won’t even turn on. So there’s that. Some say it might not even be worth fixing…not like I have the money for that anyway.

The other night I got an email saying I was 2 months behind on paying back my student loans. I wasn’t even informed I was supposed to start paying that back now. Of course the monthly payment is more than one of my paychecks. I haven’t told my husband about it because I don’t want him to worry about it just yet. 

And to top it all off, there was an incident at work involving me and another team member and 2 supervisors. I won’t give details but according to our boss, I wouldn’t get in trouble for admitting what happened. I told them I didn’t remember fully but gave them what I did know. Then they came back telling me that my story didn’t match so they might have to get hr involved because if I’m found purposefully fabricating my story, I could get fired. Fantastic. 

So all in all I’m pretty much a ball of stress. I don’t know how I keep getting up each day because I feel like everything is just falling apart. 

It was a great day 

What did I do all day? I woke up, laid in bed to play with my phone for a few….hours, then I stayed in bed and watched tv. It was so relaxing. There was no thinking involved. No people to please. Husband was at work, so I had the day to myself. No chores. No errands to run. Just relaxation. It was truly marvelous. Hubby even came home with dinner so I didn’t have to cook. 

I think I am lucky to be able to have days like this. I always hear other adults talking about all the things they have to do on their days off. There’s ALWAYS something. I know as the years go by, I’m sure I will have that state of mind, especially when I have kids.

On the flip side, I hear people say that they went to the pool or get their nails done. Or maybe they just went out to lunch on their day off. To them that was relaxing. To me it’s still a lot. It doesn’t take much for me. I just need time to myself. Time to cool down, to decompress from the stresses of the outside world. Recharge my batteries if that makes sense. Anyone else like this?